


Shadows of the Moon

by BlackOrbit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A+ Parenting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Caring Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 18:44:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14795925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackOrbit/pseuds/BlackOrbit
Summary: And when the stars and the moon become too seductive and when Eren's focus only lies on that starry sky, Levi will be there, reminding him that for him Eren is not a star but the whole sun instead.





	Shadows of the Moon

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

Mentally absent, Levi is staring off into the distance. Usually, he would describe himself as anything but a nervous person but there he is, sitting at his desk in front of the window, supposed to be working on the essay for university that's due to, Levi eyes the calendar hanging next to the window briefly, two days. And he hasn't even started yet, instead he had spent the last hour tapping his pen on the tabletop _nervously_ , restlessly.

_Tap tap tap tap tap._

Super restlessly.

But there's a reason behind his uncommon behaviour, of course there is. And this reason is called _Eren_.

Levi stops his motion, determined. He can't go on like this, he knows that. He needs to focus on that damn essay or else he won't be able to finish it in time. Sighing, he wishes for the hundredth time this day he just would have started writing earlier than only _two days_ before the deadline.

Levi tries his best to stay concentrated and write a text that doesn't look like it was done last minute, he really does. But short after the two hours mark he capitulates, knowing it's not very likely he will be productive today or rather _start_ being productive today. He closes his laptop and leans back in his seat, his back stiff from spending over two hours sitting on a hard and wooden chair.

He looks out of the window, watching the slowly darkening sky. From the amount of dark clouds he can tell it will, most likely, start to rain within the next few minutes.

His gaze is still lost in the sight of the sun continuously disappearing from his view but when he sees the first stars shining dimly his mind is leading him into another direction. And suddenly there's Eren again, with those sad eyes and that fake smile and he can hear him repeating over and over again "I'm fine", trying so desperately to sound convincing while uneasily tugging at his shirt. 

Levi sighs, deeply, and rubs his eyes with his palms. He finds himself thinking about Eren almost all the time now, unable to keep himself occupied with other things like _his essay_ for example for longer than five minutes. But the image of the younger practically forces itself into his mind, visualizing on its own.

After Jean's birthday party two weeks ago Levi had seen Eren only one more time - yesterday, at a garden party at Mikasa's. Observant as he is Levi had instantly known that something was off, something was wrong when Eren finally arrived being about one hour and a half too late.

_"Oh, and we absolutely need to go to that fancy restaurant Nanaba told me about yesterday. She said the pasta tastes even better than Isabel's! We _need_ to try it, okay? Guys, we need to!" With eyes roaming over the green meadow that is Mikasa's garden, only a part of Levi is listening to Hanji who sits in a lounger between him and Erwin and who is talking about _food_ for already good ten minutes now in a very enthusiastic way. In a _very_ enthusiastic way, in Levi's opinion._

_"Shut it already, would you?", Levi growls while he twitches the beer glass from one hand to the other. "God, why are you so pissy?", Hanji responds, snickering and crossing her legs. "I'm not _pissy_ ", Levi insists, glaring at his friend, "It's just you being..." He trails off and stares at the door of the terrace instead where Eren stands, greeted by Mikasa who hugs him briefly and hands him a glass filled with a clear liquid which Eren gulps down immediately. Levi frowns and quickly looks down at his watch. Eren is definitely too late. With worry, Levi eyes Eren again._

_"No, it's _you_ being a bit overreacting about a certain someone." Interrupted in his thoughts, Levi turns to face Hanji. "Overreacting? A certain someone?" Hanji wiggles her eyebrows and nods to Eren's direction. "Levi. Come on. You think I don't know what's going on between you two love birdies?" With disbelief, Levi lifts his eyebrows but he remains silent. "What? Don't give me that look! You just need to admit it, Erwin, tell him!" Levi shifts his gaze to his older friend, questioning. "Well, no comment from me", Erwin says slyly and shrugs. Levi narrows his eyes, shakes his head and simply decides to ignore Hanji or better, ignore them both by demonstratively turning away._

_Because really, all he could say right now would most likely end up bad for him and maybe for Eren, too because yes, he can't deny the emotions he's constantly overwhelmed by whenever he sees or thinks about the younger boy. And his and Eren's relationship isn't something that needs to concern Hanji or in fact _anyone_ so he lifts himself up, sends a peevish glare at his friends and walks over to where Eren is now standing, still with Mikasa by his side. When she looks up for a short moment and sees him coming she grabs Eren's glass and Levi can hear her say "Gotta get you another drink", then she turns and heads towards another group of students._

_When Levi finally stands next to Eren and quietly says "Hey." he flinches. "Levi!", the younger boy exclaims, smiling at him but Levi can feel an odd uneasyness radiating off him. As usual, Eren wears a longarmed shirt, black and printed all over with little, silver moons. Levi's eyes wander back to his face, his eyes boring into Eren's._

_"Are you alright?", he asks, carefully. At that, Eren's smile falters and he stares at Levi with a look in his eyes Levi can't quite decipher. "Of course I am. I'm fine." He chuckles but it sounds strained. "You don't look fine", Levi states, blandly. Eren's eyes drop to his feet. "Look, I told you you can talk to me whenever you-" "I don't _need_ to talk", Eren interrupts him, looking up at him again, his voice suddenly sounding quite aggressive. "I don't- I'm _fine_! Just fine, _okay_?" Levi lifts his hands, deprecatingly. But he doesn't even get the chance to respond anything because Eren's expression falters _again_ and now he looks at him with ashamed eyes. He opens his mouth but before any words can leave it his phone suddenly starts to ring._

_Eren winces and even Levi startles slightly. The brunette pulls the phone out of his pocket and when he looks down at the display a panicked expression appears on his face. His eyes shoot up to Levi's, widely. "I- I need to-", he stutters, tension and stress clear on his face. He gestures at his phone and turns away but freezes in his movement and turns back again. "I'm sorry, Levi", he says, hastily and before Levi can even open his mouth, Eren is gone._

And after that, after Eren had disappeared so abruptly, Levi hadn't seen the younger boy again on yesterday's evening.

The sky is completely dark now, the moon hidden behind even darker clouds. Levi suspects, Levi knows, Eren's father is the one who had called his friend yesterday. He grits his teeth and suddenly pure, hot anger rushes through his veins. He can't _understand_ how any father could treat his son the way Grisha Jäger does. Why would any parent _purposely_ and intentionally make their child cry? Why would any parent consciously _hurt_ their child?

Grisha Jäger, the town's famous surgeon, highly regarded and liked by everyone. If Levi didn't know what kind of a man the doctor was at home, when he doesn't need to play his role, he could have liked him, too, maybe. But Levi does know. He does know in which ways the personality of this man changes, he has seen Eren crying, hurting and suffering far too often, too many times. 

Levi's heart aches painfully when he thinks about all the pain Eren constantly has to endure. And he wants to help, so bad, but often it's just so _hard_ to approach the other boy because too often he distances himself and simply doesn't _let_ him or anybody else in. And yes, Levi understands when Eren says he doesn't want to burden or annoy anyone, he really does, but again, it's hard because this doesn't count for him because he _wants_ to help Eren.

Absently, Levi scribbles down on his notes when his phone buzzes. At the sudden noise he startles but quickly turns it on to see who wrote him a message. He blinks when he sees it's Eren who texted him.

_Don't you think it's sad that noone can see the stars at daylight but only at night and even then noone really pays attention to them?_

Levi reads the text again, warily. An uneasy feeling makes its way through his body. It's uncommon for Eren to text and even more worrrying is the _content_ of his message. Levi re-reads it a third time. He's not sure what to read out of it. But he knows what state Eren is usually in when he is like _this_ , star gazing or just referring to them. He swallows dryly, unsure what to do.

Before he can come up with a response, his phone vibrates again and a second message pops up.

_I'm sorry I disappeared so unexpectedly yesterday, even more that I just left you. I really didn't mean to!_

Now feeling very _alarmed_ , Levi takes his phone and dials Eren's number, without thinking about it twice. He presses the phone to his ear tightly as he waits. 

"Levi?", Eren picks up the call after a few moments. Levi breathes out slowly and is, for some reason, relieved. But Eren's voice sounds strained, exhausted.

"Where are you?", Levi asks outrightly. "At home?"

It's quiet for a moment, then: "Yes."

Levi exhales, the pencil tapping on the surface of his desk again. "Good. I'm coming over."

"What!?" Eren's voice sounds panick stricken now. "No, you don't need to- I am- I mean-" He stops and Levi notices the almost hysterical tone in his voice.

"What are you doing?", he asks therefore, suspiciously, raising his eyebrows. He hears Eren's breath catch.

"N-nothing, I- I just..." Silence follows and suddenly Levi is all aware that Eren is _crying_.

"No discussions, I'm coming over", Levi says again when Eren doesn't continue, now determined. 

There's a pause and Levi can hear a muffled sob. His heart clenches painfully. "Okay", Eren whispers eventually, quiet enough Levi almost didn't hear it. He tells Eren he will be at his house in ten minutes, then hangs up. He quickly grabs his keys and his shoes and heads towards the door. While he hurries to his car, unlocking it hastily, thousand thoughts are rushing through his mind. He feels a knot in his throat and tension building around his shoulders. He finds it very alarming, knowing that talking about _stars_ and _moons_ always is a bad sign, always indicates Eren is questioning himself again, bad enough to the point where Eren even questions his _existence_. Levi swallows and starts the engine.

When Levi gets out of his car heavy raindrops are rattling down on the road and on him, soaking his clothes. He tries to cover his head and jogs to the front door of Eren's house.

It's only when he reaches the canopy and when he rings the bell that a certain thoughts comes up to his mind and suddenly he isn't sure what he will do if Eren's father opens the door when he knows that _he_ is the reason why Eren texted him in the first place, obviously dealing with unhealthy thoughts. Levi's forehead creases but he has no time to gain some of his self-control back and put on a blank expression because in that moment the door opens. Levi gasps in shock.

In front of him, at the opposide side of the threshold, stands Eren, with a black eye and a purple bruise forming on his cheek. "Eren", he whispers with a hoarse voice, full with emotion. He stares at Eren's face, unable to understand, not willing to acknowledge that Eren is actually, physically beaten by his father. And he doesn't even need to ask, he knows there's no other possibility than it was this man who had hurt Eren this badly. Levi opens his mouth but no words come out. Silently he shakes his head, again and again and he knows would Eren return his gaze in this moment he would witness eyes with a look so full of emotion noone had ever seen on Levi before. 

But Eren's eyes are trained downwards and suddenly something else catches Levi's attention. He lets his gaze drop to Eren's naked arms that are hanging limply at his sides. His eyes widen instantly and again a shocked expression appears on his face.

Both of Eren's arms are covered with angry red cuts, some are hours or even days old but the majority of them is _fresh_ , still bleeding, blood slowly running down on his skin.

Levi releases a breath he didn't know he was holding, still feeling frozen and unable to speak. At the noise, Eren lifts his gaze and meets Levi's stare. His eyes are red-rimmed and Levi can see tears shining in them. The younger boy seems to search his face for something, his lower lip trembling. Levi returns his gaze, his eyebrows pinched together.

And then Eren breaks, sobbing uncontollably now and with tears streaming down his face. He covers his face with one hand, trying to hide away from him.

Before he can turn away, Levi grabs him by his shoulders with a firm grib, then pulls him in tight, embracing him and pressing him to his chest. It only happens slowly that Eren wraps his arms around Levi's torso, and it happens hesitating.

"I'm sorry, Eren, I'm so sorry...", Levi murmurs into Eren's hair, feeling the shaking of the slightly taller body. And there it is again, the hatred, the fury, the only emotions he shares for that man who claims to be Eren's father. He feels blinded by it, feels it almost consuming him and there is the sudden urge to _punch_ something. Instead, he tightens his grip, whispering into Eren's ear. "I've got you..."

They stay like this for the next few minutes, silent exept for Eren's muffled sobs which are, eventually, dying down and turning into hiccups instead. Levi can feel the dampness on his right shoulder, where Eren has his head still burried and had cried into his shirt but he couldn't care less at the moment. Carefully, he grabs the younger boy's shoulders again and shoves him back, just a bit. Eren's eyes are swollen now but he holds his gaze, if only for a few seconds. Then he looks down again and clears his throat but before he can say anything Levi raises his voice. He gestures at Eren's arms. "These need to be patched up", he says. They end up in the bathroom where Eren keeps his bandages. 

When he opens the door Levi freezes, revealing the actual mess Eren had caused. There's blood, a lot of blood, on the tiles and in the sink. Unsure, Levi's gaze flickers to the younger boy who conscientously avoids his eyes. "I'll clean this up later", he mumbles, aware of the sudden tension. He steps past him and picks up a little box from one of the cupboards. He takes one bandage out of it.

"Let me do this", Levi interferrs quietly and reaches out one hand, palm turned upwards. Eren clearly hesitates but eventually hands the box to him. Gently, Levi reaches out for one of his friend's arms, beginning to clean the many wounds. Eren grimaces slightly and closes his eyes. 

Ten minutes later both of them are sitting on the couch in the living room, side by side but not touching. Levi is now sure Eren's father isn't at home or else Eren would never want to sit in the living room voluntarily, practically unprotected. It's silent, neither of them saying a word, both trapped in their own thoughts.

Levi quietly watches Eren and wonders why someone so pure and _good_ like him has to endure this whole damn shit. He doesn't deserve this and Levi wishes he could do more for him than just trying to calm him down by saying reassuring words. He turns to face the younger boy properly and Eren looks up at him at the sudden motion. Both of his arms, now covered all over in white bandages, are placed in his lap but his hands are, as usual, nervously playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Eren", Levi begins, trying to approach the boy in a careful way. "Do you want to tell me what happened today?" At that, Eren visibly winces and his whole body tenses. Frantically, his gaze darts between the coffee table and the window, looking everywhere but at his friend. 

"I, uh- uhm...", Eren stutters and Levi can hear by the tone of his voice that the brunette is on the verge of crying again. Eren's leg starts bouncing, rapidly. Then there's a sigh. "I guess you should know what happened", he finally says, actually rather coming out as a whisper than a loud sentence. Levi leans forward, only a little, to let Eren know that he has his full concentration. 

"I... You know, I, uhm, was working on that essay and uhm, my father came by and- And wanted to know what I was doing so I- Of course I told him but... Y-yeah, I guess he just saw my notes- I mean it was quite obvious but- He just saw what I had scribbled down on them when I wasn't fully concentrated and you know he isn't really supportive when it comes to... M-me being gay b-but Levi, I- I-" A pained and somehow feared expression appears on Eren's face and Levi cuts him off.

"What did you write on that notes?", he asks, trying to steady his voice. He places a hand on Eren's arm, carefully, but the other boy tears it away. He's trembling all over now and his lip quivers. Levi can see his eyes watering again.

"I, you know, I didn't really- I didn't even _notice_ what I was writing, it just... I mean I, uhm, kinda drew, like, hearts with... With..." Eren inhales shakyly and to Levi it looks like it costs all of Eren's willpower to press out his next words. "I wrote your name into the hearts", Eren whispers, barely audible and for a short moment Levi asks himself if he got it right, if Eren really said that.

He feels petrified, unable to move. He simply stares at Eren with a frozen expression on his face, only his jaw moving. He's not sure if Eren really means his words in the way Levi thinks, wishes, he does and he tries to come up with another possible meaning of _hearts with his name written in them_.

Levi notices he needs too long to answer when he sees the look on Eren's face. His composed countenance has faltered, instead he now looks at him _terrified_ , his breathing going very unsteady and his hands clenched into his pants. Levi opens his mouth but hesitates and at that, Eren breaks. 

A tear breaks free and rolls down Eren's bruised cheek, more follow. Hastily he wipes them away but the stream doesn't stop. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Levi, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to- I shouldn't have told you that, I- Oh my god, Levi, I'm so sorry, please, I just-" Eren is cut off by his own sobs that are now wrecking his body. 

Before Levi can do or even say anything Eren is up to his feet, slowly backing away from him, the terrified expression never leaving his face. Levi knows that Eren is panicking and quickly gets up, too, taking a step into Eren's direction.

"I shouldn't have- I fuck up literally _everything_ , Levi- I'm sorry, please forgive me, I-", he rattles but Levi takes one more step forward and grabs the younger boy at his shoulders, strongly. Eren flinches and his eyes widen in _fear_ and Levi asks himself desperately and somehow slightly hurt if Eren really thinks he would ever, _ever_ hurt him purposely, verbally or physically. 

Suddenly, the ache in his heart is so bad, so intensive, his feelings and emotions for this boy are too much and he himself feels tears welling up behind his eyes, threatening to spill over. His eyes are burning into Eren's with an intense stare.

Slowly, as if afraid of Eren shying away, Levi lifts his hand and carefully and _gently_ he brushes his fingers across Eren's bruised cheek. Eren's lips part but he doesn't say anything, only shivers slightly once, looking down at the wooden floor. Levi is overwhelmed by his own emotions as he brings his other hand up to cup Eren's head in a very tender way. Eren is forced to look up at him again and when their eyes meet Levi is sure he'd never looked at anyone with so much affection in his eyes before.

"I love you", he breathes, low and earnestly and he means every word. Eren stares at him with widened eyes, shocked, tensed. Then, he crumbles and suddenly tears are falling down his face again.

"L-Levi", Eren stutters and grabs for Levi's shirt. "Levi, I- I love you, t-too, I- I-" Levi exhales deeply and pulls the younger boy into his arms, holds him as tightly as he dares. He presses his face into Eren's hair, trying to calm his racing heartbeat down. This time, Eren returns the hug instantly, clutching at the shirt on his back. 

Now slightly shaking himself, Levi places a soft kiss on Eren's head. "I love you", he whispers again and Levi is sure that he never felt anything as strong as the emotion he's feeling right now before ever in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this one :3  
> Okay, so a few days ago I watched the first part of The Maze Runner again and even though I neither read the books nor watched the following movies I suddenly felt very tempted to write a story based in this fandom ^^ Well, we'll see "^^


End file.
